This is not a cheerful post, so if you want to ignore it, you just may want to...
It seems that there are constant reminders of how poor we are. (I know, count your many blessings...but sometimes it is ok to be down....and I feel down...)
1. Had to relinquish my rights to my kitty. I fought so hard to get her, and she was so perfect. Quiet, no clawing of furniture, used her potty...Perfect. But earlier this week she ate a bracelet of Brynleys and it got stuck in her small intestines. Needed surgery, and we couldn't pay for it. Too many medical bills with B...so, I cried all day hoping to find a miracle, and in the end had to sign her over, and walk away. She was more than a cat. She was a step to having a normal life. Heartbroken!!
I'm reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies: Sleepless in Seattle
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do? Sam Baldwin: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.
2. Eric and Brynley keep wanting to be in sports. Last fall I had to tell Brynley that she will never get to play soccer like her brother, since she can't play contact sports. Then quickly told her we would place her in dance. Well, once again, money is so tight that we can't afford to place her in dance, or Eric in any sports. (I know... a time and a season for all things...)
3. Would love to have my own house, but will probably be an eternal renter. We have absolutely no savings, so I have no idea how this would ever become a reality. Especially since for the last year we have been waiting for John's job to come to an end. So that leaves my income, which will be limited with the problems in DCSD and the lack of funds. Plus hitting the top of my pay scale unless I go back to get my masters...which again needs $$$.
I know I need to have faith that it will all work out. I know that everyone is feeling the same way, the effects of the economy, so I need to be more understanding... Tomorrow I will try counting those blessings, meanwhile, today, I will be sad, and feel sorry for myself.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I Hate Being Poor!!
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2 comments:
Everyone is allowed a pitty party every once in a while, but remember that the most important things in life aren't things.... I love you tons and I know that we will both make it through our challenges in life, just keep your chin up!
For sure, everyone's due for a few of these kinds of days every so often... and you're also right about counting your blessings.
I remember a lot of the same feelings when Steve started his own business up in Logan and we didn't get paid for about 5 months. All prospects seemed dim and without possibility. But now... (because it's usually after our trials that we see the purpose... why is that!? :)... it was only after 2-3 years later when we'd both been stressed to every possible limit we thought imaginable that we saw the blessings that came from that time. It was a long time to wait to see the blessings but it did come.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and know we love you and pray for you always! And somewhere in all of this there is a blessing in disguise.
Hugs!
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